But after her nanny called out sick one night, she crossed the line into binge-drinking and she ended up in the hospital. For a long time, she wasn’t binge drinking and was fully functional. Like most alcoholics, Vargas knew she has a problem but didn’t identify as an alcoholic. It never occurred to me that other people in the world might feel the same way.” I still believed it was shameful, a weakness…. I had never in my life discussed my anxiety with anyone, not a soul…. It never occurred to me to seek professional help. “Wine helped me quiet the insecurity that had been with me since I was a girl. Unlike many of us, she found that alcohol helped her to take the edge off and what started out as a nightly glass of wine turned into so much more. Like many of us who suffer from anxiety, she doesn’t even remember some of the speeches she has given because she was so overwhelmed with it. One of the bullies was her teacher (who reminded me a lot of one of my own), but oftentimes it was awful teenage girls.Īnxiety plays a huge role in Vargas’ story, from her fear of vomiting because it’s a loss of control to how she never learned how to properly manage it (there’s a great book about how another reporter dealt with his anxiety titled 10% Happier). Being in front of cameras on a nightly basis while battling a crippling anxiety takes its toll and things got progressively worse. Being the new kid meant that she was continually trying to fit in, and she was bullied a lot. Complicating matters, she was also an army brat, living in 14 homes on 9 army bases and attended 8 different schools before graduating high school. She pinpoints one specific moment in Okinawa that shaped how she approached her anxiety and she discusses the harm this has done to her psyche.

ChildhoodĪs a child, Vargas learned early on that anxiety and panic are not acceptable emotions to share and should be hidden at all costs. Vargas ultimately tells three stories in Between Breaths: A Memoir of Panic and Addiction: how her childhood experiences shaped her world outlook and ability to deal with stress, her downward spiral into addiction and its impact on her family, and her path towards recovery. In it, she takes full responsibility for her actions and makes no effort to paint herself in a positive light, making this an incredible read. In this breathtakingly honest memoir, she shares her deepest and darkest moments, including when and how she disappointed her children, her bouts with alcohol poisoning, her time in rehab, and the impact her drinking had on her marriage. Filled with insecurities, Vargas turned to alcohol first to unwind, then to cope with the stresses of life. Between Breaths: A Memoir of Panic and Addiction on September 13, 2016īuy the book: Amazon/Audible (this post includes affiliate links)Ģ0/20 host Elizabeth Vargas penned a memoir about her battle with alcoholism, beginning with her anxiety as a child and her whirlwind career as a television anchor.

Elizabeth vargas book review